fictionandessays

Fowl Play

by Mel O’Drama

December 17, 2007

(orig. publishing date)

Three feathered friends are suspected of robin’ Falcon‘s crest,

near the Swannee River. Two of them were apprehended

shortly thereafter. Martin Snipes was caught wren his pants

fell down to his ankles. He was saved further embarrassment

because he had his capon. Peli Dabchick, being out of shape,

was runnin’ and puffin’. Not being very swift, he was easy to

nab. What a par-a-keets!

At headquarters, the world-famous Chinese detective, Duck

Ling and his assistant, Jay Peacock, got this information from

the parrot them. They had their secretary bird take notes.

To this day, they still crow about it.

“We can make this very unpheasant for you two. If you don’t

want to get finched by an angry mob, you’d better squawk;

and don’t grouse about it.”

“Auk, go fly a kite. We ain’t cuckoo. We did it for a lark.”

“Gannet, Snipes. Toucan can play this game. Make it easier

on yourselves — or we can make it ruff on you. We’ll grab one

of your wings and pullet. Eider Owl do it ― or-i-ole! Tell us

who the ringleader is, or you’ll erne some jail time”

“I can’t swallow that. Why don’t you geese who he is. I was

there just chicken’ the place out. I can’t tell you who he is,

but Peli can.”

“Okay Pellie, it’s your tern, you bustard, who is he?”

“It’s Al Batross. He’s stork raven’ mad.”

“Tell us moa.”

“He’s a pigeon-toed marsh hen from outer space!”

“Oh boy, can you tell some whoopers. Here’s the

confessions. You two can use this penguin you’re

ready to cygnet. Then both you turkeys are going

to prison. Don’t expect any treats though, like apple-

gobblers. You’ll be there to poultries out of the

ground for myna myna years.”

© 2007 by James M. Britvich All Rights Reserved